Baby was being fussy. I found myself sitting on the couch, rocking him back and forth. I was feeling a tad frustrated. Brandon looked at me and said (in his baby imitation voice), "I so many love my Mommy". Then he told me, "You're not going to be able to do that forever." Wow. Perspective change. My moment changed quickly from a time of frustration to a time to cherish. I don't want to miss these moments that I will soon wish back.
I want to be a present parent. I want my son to know I am here for him, and that he is my priority. I want to experience the little moments of his life. I don't want him to remember me constantly doing. I want him to remember me constantly being. How exactly is this accomplished? ~I am so blessed to work at a company that values family and is flexible to accommodate that. I only go in to the office 3 days a week (I work a few hours from home the other 2, but am mostly just home with Baby). ~When I really need to get stuff done, but Baby really wants me, I wear him and he is typically quite content. ~I just sort of gave up. I didn't give up being a present parent. I gave up trying to get it all done. If Baby wants me, I try to let him have me. I don't worry quite so much about getting everything else accomplished. A clean house can wait. ~When I simply can't be right with him (i.e. driving or showering), I try to talk to him or sing to him, if he seems lonely. ~In The Resolution for Women, Priscilla Shirer reflects on the fact that she wishes she had simply enjoyed each stage of her life and her children's lives, rather than wishing and planning for the next "better" stage. When I find myself hoping for a different stage, I stop myself. I remember that I don't want to rush Baby's life and I am thrilled with the stage we are in. I want to be present. |
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