Mornings are hard....full of lunch making, bag packing, breakfast making, diaper changing, sock finding, car loading, and somehow I have to get myself ready, too. My arms are always full, the carseat is always difficult, and I fight away the sleep still trying to overpower by body. My mind is on two things-Get to Nana's...be on time for work.
But somehow, the other morning, I looked up. The clouds caught my attention. As one unit, they scrolled across the sky, just like the scene on my son's lullaby aquarium. I took a deep breath of fresh air and listened to the birds chirping in my trees. I soaked it in for just a second before hopping into the car to continue on my way. Sometimes, it's just nice to know that even when my life seems crazy and out of control, the world still turns. The sun still rises, the birds still chirp, and the clouds still scroll. I'm glad there is a world outside of me. Recently, I've had a heavy heart. Life simply isn't going according to plan. And to be honest, it feels like it typically doesn't. I feel totally enveloped and it's very difficult to see beyond the fog surrounding me.
I know that somehow, at some point, I will get there...wherever there is. But, the timing just feels wrong. Everything seems upside down, and I see no way to turn it right side up, again. But, I try to remember that I don't have to have it all figured out, right now. Or ever, for that matter. Everything does not have to be perfect. And by living this all-too-true imperfection, I teach my son about life. I teach him that things are not just handed to us. I teach him that everything doesn't come easily. Some things take work, and that's not a reason to give up. The good news is that my job is to simply follow God. He never asked me to forge my own path. He goes ahead and whacks down all the vines and thorns. He makes the path and simply asks me to take it. "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track."-Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message |
|